Baby Got Back- Part 1

I don't think I can ever remember a time in my life when I was happy with my body. Even in high school when I weighed 140-145, I thought I was fat. I was by no means toned, or in shape. But I was not fat. I am famous for the phrase, "I will start my diet tomorrow." My friends could be millionaires if they had a dollar for every time I have uttered those stupid words.

This problem is deep rooted in insecurity and comparison. I have a serious problem comparing my body to others. I think this is something all girls and women go through. We compare our bodies, our clothes, our lives to one another. It's unhealthy and leads to some serious self worth issues. When we should have our identities in Christ, we instead place them in ourselves and our desire for what we should look like/own/etc...

Not where I meant to head with this post. Ok moving on. So, I worked at Hollister for a good 2 years of my life. Good can also be substituted in that last post for awful. No really, I liked it. Gave me a great excuse to listen to crappy punk rock music and I smelled like "Jake" everyday.

So, one year the crew decided to have a softball team. This happened to be the year that I was at my most insecure. I wasn't clinically bulimic but I was vomiting after every meal to try and shed a few pounds. I remember being so desperate to just good the food out of my body that I would hide in alley's after lunch and make myself vomit, and then continue on my way. Horrible horrible habit. Thank GOD it only lasted a few months.

Anyways, so the softball team was called the "Swamp Donkey's." I have no idea what that even means, but everyone got nick names to have printed on the back of their shirts. This sweet girl who was my friend, and had an enviable body got the name "Great A" printed on hers... meaning great ass. Mine said, "Fat Ass." They didn't even have the decency to just put the "A", no no, they put the whole word. I weighed probably 138 pounds, I was NOT fat. Ok so maybe my butt wasn't as tight as hers, but she played soccer. Of course it wasn't. Needless to say, I was offended (nothing against this girl, love her to death).

To be continued...

p.s. This is me and Sarah, my BFL partner. This is from Spring 2007. I am wearing my "Swamp Donkey's" shirt. I'm pretty sure I deleted all pictures with the back of the shirt on them.