These are my confessions

So... my eating hasn't been as strict as it should be. I had two free days in a row. I felt horrible and guilty. But after some advice, I put on my big girl panties and I dealt with it. Here is a tip if you plan on doing BFL: Plan your meals and have time for groceries. It is so much harder to do this when you don't have groceries at home. I have compromised meals because of this. Dylan and I are having a grocery store date later this evening and I can't wait! It's been too long since I've made a good healthy meal.

I was feeling pretty defeated by my Jorge's.cupcake splurge and then I took another pic. I don't know if you saw it below but check it out. You might be as shocked as I was.

wow wow wow wow wow. it's working!!!!! Can't give up. Sarah has decided to do an extra week since Spring Break was a set back. I think I might do an extra week too. We will see. Thanks for reading! 

I should be studying

But I am waiting for Sarah to pick me up so we can go do our LB work out. Please pray for us! We both have big tests tomorrow. :D

So here are some pics while I wait. We are in Week 8 people!

"Looks like you guys got some sun today" Don't worry it's healing. 

 Oh hi abs! Nice to see you again. It's been a while. 

Nice to meet you bicep! I don't think we've ever met! 

By the way, I was definitely not holding my tummy in this one. Embarrassing. It looks better than that I promise.

Spring Break

My last post was such a downer. I apologize for my bad attitude! I also want to apologize for not posting at all over the break. I meant to, but I have been so busy! It feels like I'm just getting a little break.

My break has been really great though. I haven't missed a work out. I even woke up twice at 5:30 am to go to Gold's Gym with my brother! It is actually kind of nice to get it all out of the way early in the morning and leaves you free for the rest of the day. I don't think I could do it regularly though, so props to you Cameron!

The only thing I'm worried about is my eating. I have been eating right, just too much. I went to Midland for a few days and loaded up on some Jorge's the first day we got there. It was so delicious and I appreciated it more after waiting so long to have it. I even ate well when we went to Aubelo's and it wasn't my free day. I haven't really cheated at all. The other night I had some chips when I shouldn't have but, oh well.

I even went on a hike on my free day! Impressive I know :D

I will update a longer post on Monday I promise! Enjoy the last few days of the break!

Vent

I am frustrated. Really extremely frustrated. My scale has not budged in weeks. I am at 157.2 and I'm not happy about it. My goal weight is 140. I weighed 140 in high school. I weighed 148 at my wedding. Actually, I really just want to be healthy. I want to be happy with the way I look. And I'm not yet.

I missed a cardio session. Had a little sinus episode and it would have been a bad idea to work out. I still have it today and I'm contemplating what to do. I could run, but should I? Will I make it worse?

I am also stressed. I have two tests the week after Spring Break, one of them being on Monday. I shouldn't go anywhere. I should stay home and clean and study and relax.

It is going to be great to see family, don't get me wrong.

I'm just in a fowl mood and it is affecting everything. I'll try to be more positive next time.

Alli

BUSY BEE

Sorry I haven't posted. I have been so busy as of late. School is busting my butt right now, but it will be worth it in the end. I promise to post a good, long, meaningful, picture filled post tomorrow. But for now. A post work out treat:

Banana Goodness
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 small banana
1 tablespoon reduced fat crunchy peanutbutter
a handful of ice cubes
and go.

That is my go to smoothie :D

Protein bars, shakes and smoothies are used to their best advantage within 30 minutes of a work out. A little BFL wisdom for ya.

Can you believe we are in our 6th week? I can't. 6 to go! I can't wait!!!

Baby Got Back- Part 1

I don't think I can ever remember a time in my life when I was happy with my body. Even in high school when I weighed 140-145, I thought I was fat. I was by no means toned, or in shape. But I was not fat. I am famous for the phrase, "I will start my diet tomorrow." My friends could be millionaires if they had a dollar for every time I have uttered those stupid words.

This problem is deep rooted in insecurity and comparison. I have a serious problem comparing my body to others. I think this is something all girls and women go through. We compare our bodies, our clothes, our lives to one another. It's unhealthy and leads to some serious self worth issues. When we should have our identities in Christ, we instead place them in ourselves and our desire for what we should look like/own/etc...

Not where I meant to head with this post. Ok moving on. So, I worked at Hollister for a good 2 years of my life. Good can also be substituted in that last post for awful. No really, I liked it. Gave me a great excuse to listen to crappy punk rock music and I smelled like "Jake" everyday.

So, one year the crew decided to have a softball team. This happened to be the year that I was at my most insecure. I wasn't clinically bulimic but I was vomiting after every meal to try and shed a few pounds. I remember being so desperate to just good the food out of my body that I would hide in alley's after lunch and make myself vomit, and then continue on my way. Horrible horrible habit. Thank GOD it only lasted a few months.

Anyways, so the softball team was called the "Swamp Donkey's." I have no idea what that even means, but everyone got nick names to have printed on the back of their shirts. This sweet girl who was my friend, and had an enviable body got the name "Great A" printed on hers... meaning great ass. Mine said, "Fat Ass." They didn't even have the decency to just put the "A", no no, they put the whole word. I weighed probably 138 pounds, I was NOT fat. Ok so maybe my butt wasn't as tight as hers, but she played soccer. Of course it wasn't. Needless to say, I was offended (nothing against this girl, love her to death).

To be continued...

p.s. This is me and Sarah, my BFL partner. This is from Spring 2007. I am wearing my "Swamp Donkey's" shirt. I'm pretty sure I deleted all pictures with the back of the shirt on them.